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Nov. 19th, 2005 | 11:52 pm

dear mallory,
I saw this and thought of you,
Pooping for people like me is damn near as rewarding as sex, so when I get to go every day it’s like HOT DOGS FOR EVERYONE! You people can go to the bathroom without worrying about whether or not you’re going to come out alive, do you have any idea the number of years of my life I have left on the bathroom floor because I offered them up in exchange for the opportunity to see the green in my husband’s eyes just one more time? And don’t you think I should bring that up over a romantic dinner? That I almost died pooping but the memory of his face is what saved me?

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Alex P.

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from: wetzel
date: Nov. 20th, 2005 08:21 am (UTC)


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from: champagnesheik
date: Nov. 20th, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)

I have no idea what the hell that was, but I do know that it has made me a very happy boy.

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